Sundays

My dad was a construction worker for over 35 years. This little radio, was his when he would go on job sites or side jobs. Today, it kept me company while I painted closets. It’s dusty, broken antenna, faint smell of chewing tobacco, and cigarette smoke makes me miss him.

That pain in the ass was a smoker most of his life, and chewed too. Awful habits, that Cody and I spent decades trying to eradicate.

Today I really struggled. As I painted, listening to the radio, I thought about Dad, his visit the night before his stroke. Miles gave him this big hug and I had thought to myself in that moment “keep that mental image forever”. Dads smile and laugh as Miles lept from one end of the couch into his arms, caught us both off guard. Miles isn’t a hugger, but he was that day.

Micah walked in as I was thinking about it, and tears just began to well up. Without a word, fella just nodded and smiled, not asking any questions. He knows my heart, especially on Sundays. Those were our visit days.

I finished painting a wall and decided I needed a break. We live out in the country and since we don’t have a paved drive, the boys and I took our sidewalk chalk to the road. As the boys and I colored pictures, I began to color in a rainbow. As I did, I stumbled across this imprint, in the perfect shape of a heart, on our road. I traced around it, confused that it could really be there…Right in front of my house. I colored it in and took a step back. A perfectly shaped heart. I had never noticed before in all the walks I’ve taken on my road….

I instantly heard this stirring in me:

“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” Isaiah 41:10

This heart, this radio. Our dad(s) are always with us. I was reminded today of my earthly dad, and my Heavenly Father. Their presence felt, even though not seen. Sorrow and joy all at the same time. Never alone, I have two dads watching out for me.

My storm isn’t over yet, but I’m thankful to know there is a rainbow on the other side, and through it, is a beautiful heart that isn’t going anywhere. My god is Always with me.

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